How to Detox Your Life

This video could not come to me at a better time in my life! It’s actually cray. Right now, I am trying to rid myself of anything that’s weighing me down/holding me back/making me unhappy. This means I’m improving my skin regimen, clearing out my wardrobe, ridding myself of toxic people and FOOD (I only have deep-fried Oreos once in awhile… 😉 ), and becoming a more disciplined athlete. Very ambitious, but I know I can do it!

Here are some tips on how to detoxify your life. Simple steps, huge impact. Check it out!

Active Living

This summer, my goal is to live a life of purpose. I want to do things with intent, passion, and commit to every- and anything I do. No matter what! I want to maximize my summer, and do so fabulously *hairflip*. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t throw a hairflip in there.

There’s something about me that makes me very uncomfortable whenever I’m idle for an excessive amount of time. Maybe I don’t know how to relax, maybe being busy helps me escape from my thoughts about my future and my career choices, maybe planning events is a therapeutic release of stress, or maybe I genuinely enjoy doing that sort of thing. Maybe this, maybe that.

Judging by my excessive use of the word “maybe,” I’m at a point in my life where my plans after undergrad are unclear. My God told me that I am destined for greatness, so that much is clear. But greatness in what domain? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Right when my love for medicine takes over, doubt creeps in about my decision and I am unclear if I would enjoy being a doctor. What about my “on the side” skills? Should I go into event planning or administrational work? What would my family [Read: parents] think?

Being indecisive makes me extremely uncomfortable. Extremely.

So. This summer, as I try to figure out my long-term goals, I will live a life of intent. That doesn’t mean I won’t relax. I love getting my nails done and watching my shows on Netflix like the next guy, so If I want to lay out in the sun with my franz, I will purposely do that. If I want to go to the movies or take a long nap, I will do just that. But I want to leave this summer a different, more knowledgeable person. If it’s an “easier” day for a track workout, I will do every drill with precision and follow-through, do full ninety degree squats, and never slow down until I cross the finish line. I’m going to re-visit my love for books and read a new one every couple of weeks! I’m going to go on new adventures, learn new things from fascinating people on TED.com, and make peach-whiskey BBQ chicken—courtesy of Pioneer Woman (I am obsessed with this woman, her family, and the entire FoodNetwork family). I’m going to re-learn Spanish, take a summer Literature class at a local college, and find the perfect combination of fruit for my daily smoothies! I want [Read: need] to learn how to swim. Please refrain from judgment, I know I’m terribly late in the aquatic game.

It’s going to be a great summer.

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Sunday Morning Motivation: Make It Happen

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it consumes you? You think about it day-in and day-out? Getting that perfect GPA? Shattering that school sports record? Earning that degree? Losing that weight? Reading that book? Cooking that meal all by yourself? Well, the time is now.

NO MORE excuses. NO MORE people holding you back. The time is NOW! Go get it! Go get your blessing! I for one am tired of making excuses as to why I’m not fulfilling my potential. I’m tired of not killing the game like I know I can.

This is a call to action for everyone reading this. Get up, and go get it—go fulfill your God-given potential!x

Becoming Mrs. Right

Mr. Right

I’m a Nigerian-American young woman. In the eyes of many aunties and uncles, I should either have a boyfriend or be in the midst of eligible suitors. The pressure for [Nigerian-American] young women to settle down with the “right man” and start a family is immense. Now that I’m older, I’ve become more and more aware of the effects of this pressure. I see my peers taking more time to get ready for class or work, becoming makeup gurus, strutting sexier styles on the weekends, showing up to church much more glamorous than before (lol!), amongst many other signs. These things can be attributed to young women coming into their own and just trying to have a good time with friends, but I also believe that they attest to my theory of the ticking [marriage] time bomb bestowed upon us by our older peers.

Because of this pressure, countless young women become obsessed with finding the perfect man: The God-fearing, focused, confident, handsome young man of her dreams that she can one day start a family with. It’s a wonderful dream that is surely attainable–but if finding Mr. Right is the primary focus of a girl’s life then how can she herself become eligible for him?

The Answer: Focus on Yourself First.

Even if Mr. Right comes your way, will he see you as Mrs. Right if you’re only worried about makeup, the perfect outfit, and looking good from the outside? Doubt it. We as young women need to be more proactive about our own lives and become ready for Mr. Right when he comes along (and vice versa). To my readers advocating for gender equality, I can assure you that this is not a call for princesses in distress to wait on Prince Charmings of the world, but rather a call to action for all young women to be independent before committing to a lifetime union. Men can also follow these steps to becoming a “Mr. Right.” Here are some steps we can take to bettering ourselves:

1. Be sure that you can take care of yourself. This refers to hygienic matters, financial matters, and more. Make sure you can cook (this is a big one for African families, and in many other cultures. Can’t cook = noooo hubby haha). If you still sleep in until 4pm and then sit at home watching Netflix until 4am the next morning, doing this for days at a time…..get your life!! I’m definitely an advocate for taking personal days, but doing this for 4 or 5 days in a row is not a sufficient use of your time. Work hard now, and have plenty of time to play later in life.

2. Be sure that you are focus-driven. No one wants to be with someone that does not push themselves. If you cannot push yourself, how can you expect a relationship to take you to new heights? Get your education, secure internships, create a career path and make a 5- or 10-year life plan. Be goal-oriented.

3. Be spiritually grounded. Be firmly rooted in the Word of the Lord. You’ve probably heard this before, but it’s real. If God is not at the center of your life, and eventually your relationship, then how can it prosper?

4. Be sure that you can perform domestic duties. This may seem old-fashioned, but be able to take care of your living space, whether it’s living at home with your parents, in your own apartment, or in your college dorm. Yes, men are just as capable of cleaning and cooking as women, but be sure that you can hold your own.

These are not the end-all be-alls of relationship advice, but I wanted to share with you what I’ve learned from family and friends.

Getting My Mojo Back

This video is all about how my favorite Youtube vlogger, Patricia Bright, got her mojo back, something all of us are familiar with. We’ve all had times where we just feel stuck: we’re not moving forward in our lives, and don’t know what to do to get out of the funk! She lists some easy steps you can do to get back into game mode.
She def helped me get my mojo back after a stagnant time in my life.

High School Senior? This is For You!‎

College Applications

For my young ones out there about to start your senior year of high school, I applaud you. Many didn’t make it that far. Next step? College, baby!‎ And you will graduate!

If you’re anything like me, college was like an exciting new world, one that you couldn’t wait to step into and finally become an “adult.” Well, first things first—in order to get to into college, you have to fill out the applications, right? Right. Here are some things I did to help the stresses of filling out said applications:

  1. Finish all of your essays the summer before senior year. At first, I thought this notion was crazy, and I was annoyed because I wanted to enjoy my summer break. Essays? They could wait until the fall, right? If your parents are anything like mine—there is no such thing as summer break. My brothers and I were not allowed to sleep in that often, we had to complete math problems given to us by my mom, and write essays assigned by my dad. He also made us read books and give him a report. No jokes, it was too real. Looking back on it, I’m thankful that I was forced to finish my college essays before senior year started because I could spend more time on and perfect my essays. I could also ask more people to proofread my essays. The essay portion of the applications are the most important, IMO. Your essays give the admissions officers a chance to get to know you, and how wonderful you are. You don’t want to half-ass it because you’re rushing to complete the app at 11:59p on January 1st. That is not cute honey. Also, it relieves some pressure from your senior year. You’re not stressing like your classmates, and you get no worry/stress/frown lines. Again, not cute. Also, I applied to 22 schools; I needed any kind of headstart I could get.
  2. Start/complete your Common Application in the summer. You’re allowed to fill out the Common App as early as July. Do it, do it, DO IT. It’s long, it’s annoying, it’s “killing you softly,” blah blah blah….it’s a necessary evil. If the schools you are applying to require that you fill out the Common App, do it as soon as possible. You probably still have to fill out the individual school’s supplement, which is another application, so give yourself a head start.
  3. Send your standardized test scores. Do it. Now. If you still have one more SAT/SAT II/ACT test date, then send in those scores as soon as you receive them. You want all of your information in the application as soon as possible. All of it. Don’t let the delayed submission of a test score be the reason you don’t get into the college of your choice.
  4. Pick your recommendations wisely. Do not ask a teacher to write you a raving recommendation if you are mute in his/her class, fall asleep in his/her class, or sit in the back and talk to your friends for the duration of the class. They will set you up with a bad recommendation letter, or they will write a generic “good student, good heart” recommendation—and admissions officers see right through that hullabaloo. Seriously. Pick a teacher that you actually like (and likes you!‎ lol) whose class you exceedingly well in, and knows you on a deeper level, to write your recommendation letter. No idea how to get to know your teacher better? Go to office hours! Office hours have saved a lot of grades/lives. Also, give your teachers ample time to write your recommendation letters. They do not like to be rushed; a rushed recommendation = a bad/lukewarm recommendation.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your advisor, counselor, teachers, pastors, parents, older siblings/cousins who have been to college or are in college, are all there to help you. All you have to do is ask.
  6. Don’t apply to 22 schools. Seriously. Don’t.
  7. Remember, you got this!‎